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1.15.2007

Shame

You know, rarely does the Martin Luther King holiday go by that I don't sit back and think the age old question radio djs of yore ask their listeners year after year:

What would Dr. King think of us today?

And every year I feel the same emotion... shame.

Don't get me wrong, I love my people (sometimes) and I take extreme pride in my heritage. But I sit back and I look at our society today and I'm disgusted and ashamed. And I'm not just speaking of blacks either. But today I will focus solely on my people, solely on blacks.

What would Dr. King think of us today? Granted we've made tremendous strides since his passing. This is America, one of the most liberated countries in the world. We have freedom, yet we don't use it to our advantage.

We gained the freedom to vote; But how many show up at the polls?

We've broken the segregation barriers that held us back so long in public and in education. But not nearly enough of us take advantage of what lies plainly before us.

The Civil Rights Movement instilled in us a pride of our nation, a pride in our heritage, a pride in US as a people; it was a time when we asked not for a lame ass apology, but instead for equality on every level.

Back then we cried out when whites lynched, raped and killed. And we're silent whilst we kill ourselves daily.

And for what? Look at our current crop of young folk. Pants damn near 10 sizes too large with belt buckles as big as a 6 year olds head. We've a generation of girls that dress like streetwalking women. And we're okay with that because it's not inappropriate, it's fashion.

We've foolishness on our mouths in the form of fronts and in our mouths because we no longer can speak proper English without being accused of acting white. Too bad we can't get guys to take the money they spent on fronts and jewelry and get them to invest in their education and well being. Too bad we can't get the brotha or the sista with the decked out Navigator parked outside their rented apartment to take the money they are wasting and invest in a home, stocks and local businesses. Too bad we can't get more to give back to the community in both money and time.

It's a shame that people think we're all about the biggest cars, the latest gear, the latest trend, the best drug, the best drink, the best sex, and the best look. Really we're all about surviving the best way we know how. To get rich, or die trying and glorifying our struggle to survive. I swear I never thought I would see the day where it would be considered vogue to be ghetto. And I'm not hating on people that live in the ghetto or come from the ghetto, I'm just saying that I never thought ghetto-ness would reach the heights where it's not just an acceptable form of lifestyle but it's a culture within itself. People strive to get into the ghetto just to say they have experienced it. People want to stay "hood" and true to the game. No aspirations, no dreams, just the pursuit of happiness in a materialistic way. And believe me, before the nasty-grams begin, I realize I'm making vast generalizations... I'm only saying what's on my mind right now in a paraphrased form.

When I was young, I wanted to make an impact on the world. An impact on the youth in particular. But I never knew how to do that. I still don't know how. All I know to do is to help a young person when I see them stumble, when I see them fall and if they don't listen and don't learn I don't bother to help them any further. So I'm as guilty as anyone else of allowing our youth to continue the downwards spiral.

And when I think of Dr. King's dream... I hang my head and stand ashamed.

1.13.2007

Will post again tomorrow sometime or perhaps later tonight...

Um, yeah. Whatever.

My bad. I haven't felt like writing lately. Truth is, I don't feel like writing now. But for all two of you that care about me, I will write to let you know I'm okay.

So... I'm okay.

Not happy, but not sad. Just indifferent about everything. A lot of different things have been hitting me from every angle since the new year. I'm handling things well, but my mind is constantly working to find new ways of coping and avoiding these annoying little setbacks. I mean the things that are coming up are so out of the ordinary (come to think of it when is my life ever ordinary?) that I'm at a loss as to whether I should be laughing at the sheer bizarreness or angry that the most inane obstacles keep trying to slow me down and break my spirit.

At this point, I'm taking a note from Tupac and screaming Fuck the World. I'm tired, nothing new. My father's birthday was a few days after New Year's. Jaalyn's was this past Thursday and she's having a party at a typical children's venue this weekend involving upwards of 20 kids or more. So it'll be noisy and costly but she and all her *ahem* lovely, well behaved classmates will be thrilled. She'll truly be the belle of the ball so it will be worth it.

It's been a very busy month so far and not likely to slow up until at least around the middle of February.

Yeah, I said February.

*sigh*

Like I said, I've had the birthdays to contend with, first dad's where I was hit with a Betty Crocker Syndrome (BCS) and baked a carrot cake complete with cream cheese frosting and provided dinner for the family. After that at the very last minute Jaalyn decides she wants a birthday party after all so I've been planning this party, sending invites, ordering cakes and shit. I'm drowning in work and reports at the job. Normally I don't mind getting slammed with work, I really enjoy my job... but I'm just worn out lately from trying to do too much. You know, the typical day-to-day things on top of going to the gym every day, not eating properly, running WAY too many fucking errands and PMS-ing on top of it all.

I ought to be slapped just for wondering WHY I'm so friggin' exhausted, no?

So, I'm just kinda like whatever about a lot of things right now, which I suppose is better than being down in the dumps right? But to sum up a lot has happened, I've about a hundred pictures to post but hey guess what?

I don't have time right now.

Later. I promise.

Really.