A Little Brighter, A Little Lighter...

Things are looking up just a little bit. I'm hitting some stumbling blocks along the way but I'm doing my best to remain positive and I'm learning as I go along.

Boy, those were two of the most evasive sentences I've written in a long time, no? Let's put it this way, my lease for my townhome is due to expire in January and I've decided not to renew it. Instead I'm taking steps for a major move closer to my daughter's school and farther from my antagonists.

I can't tell you how fucking good that feels.

By making this move I'm considerably increasing my debt, but I'll be renting a home with the option to buy it once my credit situation improves. It's not my ideal home, but it's an excellent starter home and with a few modifications I could net a serious profit whenever I chose to sell it... um, after I buy it first of course. The house itself I dislike. It's a cape cod, a style of home I've never been attracted to, always thinking that it was the most boring of architechural designs. The rooms are awkwardly shaped and placed, the cabinetry in the kitchen is so damned ugly it's a shame. When talking it over with my girlfriend she actually put a hand out over mine and said "Honey, let it go. Shut up about the cabinets already." But, it's got 4 bedrooms, 2 full baths, a small deck, a huge totally fenced in backyard, a large front yard and a ginormous storage shed wired with electricity in the back. The owners live a 1/2 mile down the road (and they are awesome by the way) and the house is located just far enough off the beaten path so that anyone trying to find me will most likely get lost like I did despite my use of Google-fu and Mapquest. We'll be 8 minutes from Jaalyn's school, and it's only another 20 minutes to my job.

And best of all? I'll be so far out that I seriously doubt either of my antagonists will be visiting me frequently. Too far to use the "Oh I was just in the neighborhood" excuse. I'll be at least 45 minutes from baby daddy's house and well over an hour from his job. The house is only reachable (for him) by highway (did I mention he hates driving?) and his car is a little less than reliable. As a matter of fact, his primary excuse for not attending many of Jaalyn's school functions is his car. My mother on the other hand has a good car and loves long drives in the country but she's poor with directions and lazy as hell on top of it all. A quality shared by my baby daddy.

So my heart is singing. I'll be free of them both. I'll be in a safe neighborhood far, far away from mental oppressors, past stalkers, and hoodrats. My outdoor loving girls will have a yard of their own to play in for the first time ever and I'll be on my way to homeownership soon (I hope and pray). I'm afraid of the challenge; afraid of the debt. This is the most I've ever had to pay for rent and I'm desperately afraid of over-extending myself and falling deeper into debt.

But fuck it. I'm taking the plunge and running with it.