Respect Mah House...

So. This marks the end of the much anticipated (by me if by no one else) Memorial Day weekend. The last government holiday until July 4. And it blow donkey balls.



I'm sitting here sipping on a Corona that I'm not supposed to have, you know since I'm fat and all on this diet bullshit. And for the first time the entire weekend I'm alone. Kinda. The girls are in another room playing happily until one of them begins a fight and then the Mom-meeeeeeee!!! breaks out.



*sigh*



I'd really been looking forward to the long weekend. It was my chance to blow off some steam and relax and not be bothered by anyone. If I wanted to clean house I could do so; If I wanted to just go outside and play with the kids I could've; If I just wanted to sit around butt naked and chant hymns this was my time to do so.



Didn't exactly work out that way.



First there was the dadster coming over uninvited to spend nearly all of the weekend planted firmly on my couch. I managed to hint that perhaps that's not such a great idea this weekend since you know, I wasn't exactly in the mood for company and it knocked his four day visit down to two. He went home early Saturday morning; by that afternoon we were back at his house because he'd told Jaalyn that I'd bring her by so that they could garden. What was supposed to be a 2 hour thing turned into a 6 hour thing. I was so sleepy I could barely drive. Thinking that I could call a friend to talk to so that I could stay awake on the drive home I reached for my cell phone and... no phone. I'd left it at my parents' house and I was not about to turn around and get it. So Sunday my dad decides to bring me my phone. So sweet. He brings the phone; baby daddy shows up; kids are hungry and whining and I'm cooking a dinner I hope to God I can stretch somehow. Mom arrives because she just knew we were plotting a cookout with the intention of not inviting her and is full of bitchiness and mean comments from the moment she entered the house. I spent the entire evening in the kitchen and by the time everyone cleared out and went home... it was bedtime for me and the girls.



Today was the one day I'd hoped to sit back and chill. I had things to do of course, primarily the unfavorable task of washing the girls' hair and braiding it up. Who shows up on my doorstep unannounced but baby daddy and his brother. So today was a bust too (though I did get the hair washed).



All this is so fucking annoying because everyone knew that I'd wanted to be left alone this weekend. And everyone chose to disregard my wishes. That's what really gets to me. See here's the thing about ME: I am extremely polite when it comes to other people. I respect your wishes, I respect your house and unless you're doing yourself harm I mind my business and stay out of yours. I'm not going to offer assvice; I call before visiting. If I do call I'm calling at decent hours of the day, not late at night and I don't call just to say "hi"; I'm calling with a purpose. If I am in your house, I don't wander and poke around into your stuff; if there are people there that I don't get along with I refuse to argue in your house or make a scene. I respect your place. I respect your space. I respect you. Period.

I don't ask for much. I want to be respected in the same way I respect others. Problem is, NO ONE respects a goddamn thing I say. I'd feel terrible if I were to do the shit people pull with me. And I'm tired of it. This weekend I was more than pissed, I was hurt. Because it became so very, very clear to me that despite my saying that desperately needed this time alone to think, to restructure and just bond with my kids no one gave a shit what I thought. Only what they think, feel and desire matters.

But how to deal with it? How to put an end to it?

Hm...