When Life Hands You Lemons...

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade...
-anonymous

Then pour it into your finest crystal and throw that shit straight up against the wall.
-me

Forget optimism. I tried to remain optimistic all fucking day and hell I feel like being a pessimist. So if you are tired of my whining, tired of my complaints, this is clearly not the entry for you. Come back tomorrow when the sun is sun-sunny and I will clearly tell you how excited I am about life and how I'm changing this and that and...

Bah.

Look, it's been a hellified day and I'm moody and depressed with a yeast infection and I'm in the dark.

The dark people. Anyone care to guess why?

Because my dumbass forgot to pay the bill. I misread the due date. By the time I found out the power was off customer service was closed and thus it's been a very stressful, sweaty evening. Avoidable? Entirely, simply pay the bill on time. I know. Annoying as fuck when you realize the bill's due date was the 23rd for the past due amount and the 31st for the current amount. More annoying is the fact that you realize as you dial customer service at approximately 7:03 that they turn their phones off at exactly 7.

Fuck. Thank you Dominion Power.

So id I make spelling errors, it;s because I am typing in the dark and cannot see the keys and I am SICK to death of squinting to find the backspace key on this laptop keyboard.

Fuck.

On the positive side, it's a relatively cool evening/night so the kids are sleeping in their diapers and panties, respectively after being allowed to play outside way after the street lights came on. I brought them in, gave them benadryl to help them sleep, I mean to help with their allergies, wiped them down with a cool wet washcloth and sprinkled their limp tired bodies with baby powder to help cool them down.

On the negative side my cell is about to die, as is my laptop battery, I am wide awake despite the fact that I could barely keep my eyes open all day. Adding to the negative side, last night the cat peed on my backpack, the baby's diaper bag, my newspaper and my brand new purse I just bought Friday.

Jesus God I wish that bitch would die.

I love animals. I love PETA. I love cats, just not mine. She can be the sweetest thing, but if things don;t go her way there will be hell to pay. Hence when I changed the brand of litter to something better (Tidy Cats with crystal shit in it) and she opposed I get cat piss all over the fucking house.

And I take it back. I do not love all animals. Am currently hating mosquitoes since they think I am tasty. Thanks you flying leeches, now I get to itch in more spots than just below the equator.

The sun'll come out tomorrow,
Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow...
There'll be sun...

Bah.