You know I've noticed a few things about myself in the past several days since Jaalyn's been on Christmas break. I've noticed Jaalyn and I get along much better; we don't argue as much, I don't yell. I've patience enough to explain the intricacies of the cycle of life and it's like I'm discovering her all over again and loving her more than ever. And it's all because I haven't been stressed in the mornings or evenings. I don't have to worry about packing morning snacks, lunches and afternoon snacks each day on top of bottle making for the baby among other daily tasks. I don't have to worry about fitting a couple of homework worksheets into our already packed evening. I didn't have to rush, rush, rush/hurry up/what on God's green earth is taking you so long? in the mornings. I haven't been stressed. Not at all.

Fast forward to this evening when I snapped at her and it felt like a knife in the heart when she looked at me and I could see the hurt in her eyes. But... I'm feeling tense. Things aren't going according to plan this evening and it's kinda snowballing from that point. And I'm not super uptight, or feeling down. Just irritated at my mother for detaining me from what I need to do. And I hate that I end up taking my stress out on the kids.