8 weeks…

A letter to my youngest daughter:

You’ve been a part of my life since your conception last October. You’ve held onto my heart for 8 weeks and two days. As cliché as it sounds, before your arrival I just couldn’t imagine how you would fit into my already full life. How would I be able to love another child when my love was already steadfastly set in Jaalyn? I was prepared to like you of course; but the sweeping love from the moment I saw you slide out totally caught me off guard.

We’ve gone from this…



To this…



And now….



You’re so much like your sister, yet so completely different. Your personality, your temperament, even the way we bond is so distinctly different from what I‘d been accustomed to. Your face, your expressions, your hair… all so much like my own and Jaalyn’s yet so completely you. Love everything about you from those precious folds of skin over your eyes to the deliciously fat rolls in the back of your meaty thighs…



to the outie belly button you’ve been sporting since your surgery that seems light-years ago. The kissable toes, the kissable nose and all those chins… *sigh* my God is it possible to love you more than I do?

As I did with your sister I promise to do my best in raising you. I promise not to fuck you up the way my parents did me. I promise to always be here for you, no matter what; I’ll never, ever leave you.

And one more thing I desperately want you to know. I promise Mama won’t always be this sad sack of a woman that she is now. I’m not normally this dismal, short tempered, weeping shell of my former self. I will recover. For your sake and mine.

And Jaalyn?



Mama loves you even more than before. I’m so proud of your sisterly attitude and your outpourings of love and (smothering) affection for your new sibling. To you I also make the vow that I will bounce back.
Otherwise you might fall prey to becoming a daddy’s girl.



And I can’t have that now can I?