A new day

Well Trinity and I made it to the doctor's office the other day, albeit late, and her skin diagnosis revealed a combo of baby acne (normal), eczema, and the beginnings of cradle cap (also normal). Damn her father and his sensitive skin/stomach/everything genes. Orders are to discontinue use of Johnson's baby products (big forehead slap because I ought to have remember this tip from when Jaalyn suffered from eczema) as they are not kind to, uh, pigmented skin; I also have to monitor the types of soaps I use, whether it's facial, body, or detergent soaps; bathe her every other day with Dove Sensitive Skin soap and moisturize with Eucerin lotion (which I personally detest and find useless). Other than all that, Miss Trin is healthy as a short, fat horse.

Soo... I went to the doctor yesterday and guess what? The doctor I was going to see is my OB/GYN, the good ole 6 week checkup and guess what?! Guess what fucking showed up the morning of said appointment? Just take a WILD guess... I got my fucking period folks. The period that should not be. I mean everything I've read, all the people I've talked to, they all say the same thing: if you breastfeed you don't have a period. And what shows up the very day I'm due to get hand in cooch? I mentioned it to the nurse and she gave me a puzzled "Really? Wow. And you say you're breastfeeding?" The doctor gave me a similar response adding with a shrug "well, it's not like it's a bad thing". Like hell it ain't. Today I've got cramps to boot. No wonder I've been in such a rage for no real reason. I haven't had a period in so long I forgot the damned symptoms of having it. The backaches, lack of appetite, breakouts and chocolate cravings (I swear I'm living off coffee and chocolate these days)... they all pointed to classic PMS. Big fat DUH! award goes to yours truly.

Anyway, got everything checked out, scheduled my appointment to have my IUD placed, showed off my baby that everyone agrees is absolutely gorgeous and talked to the doctor about postpartum depression. She give me a sample box of medication and a prescription for more after I complete the 2 week sampler. I asked her about a different medication that I heard was safe for breastfeeding moms and she expressed horror and touted the brand she had handed me. So upon do a wee bit of research on WebMD I discovered this little gem:

"This medication passes into breast milk and may have undesirable effects on a nursing infant. Therefore, breast-feeding is not recommended while using this drug. Consult your doctor before breast-feeding."

And looking on the drug's actual website I see this:

Can I use Lexapro if I am breast feeding?

Patients should be advised to notify their physician if they are breast feeding an infant. Lexapro, like many other medicines, is excreted in breast milk. Therefore, the doctor and patient must decide whether to continue or discontinue either nursing or Lexapro therapy. The decision to continue Lexapro therapy should take into account the risks for the infant and the benefits of Lexapro treatment for the mother.

So I am back to where I started. I was hoping for a quick fix to the situation, a magic pill to make everything better and apparently there isn't one. This means I have to fight the depression on my own which is pretty damned scary. I mean if I don't win the battle... what happens?

I'm trying to ward off the usual feelings of self pity and dejection by throwing myself into my old hobbies and interests; primarily geneology. I fired off a few emails to the Catholic Diocese of Richmond (school division) to see if they can locate my father's old school records from when he attended Van de Vyver school in the 1950s and I've a couple of other ideas to help me get over the roadblock I hit a few months back. So... so far so good today, but it's only 11:30 a.m. We shall see...

p.s. I had some pictures to upload but Blogger is acting fucking retarded and I'm losing patience. Will add them later.