It's Snot Smelling Like Roses Anymore...

In fact it's not smelling like much of anything. We've been hit with severe head colds and congestion all the way around. And can you guess who's got it the worst?

Not me.

Not Jaalyn.



Poor thing. She's chock full of snot and just miserable and she's been that way for well over a week now. Day and night she's getting saline up the nose, the snot sucker dohickey shoved up there, tissues wiping and frankly she's just sick of it. It's almost funny to watch the momentary terror on her face as you come near her with one of the aforementioned objects. The eyes go wide with terror, then narrow with anger and the fight commences. The fists come up to block the nose and face, arms flail, legs kick with such force that sometimes she lifts herself off the bed.

It's funny how motherhood can become so deeply imbedded in you that you don't even think twice about sticking fingers up noses, down throats, wiping butts and the occasional shit that gets on your fingers fails to gross you out anymore; instead you just wipe it on the nearest baby wipe and keep on going. That's mama love there. I mean really if I were dating a man and the odd humdinger was hanging out of his nose how likely am I to stick my finger up his nose and pluck it out without so much as a break in conversation?

Yes, I'm lacking in romance. Is it noticeable?

But I did do something remarkable. Something reminiscent of my former self. I approached Love #2 mentioned here.

Yup. I spoke to him. You might not realize why this is such a big deal but you have to realize this is a guy that I've not-so-secretly been lusting after for more than a year now but hadn't said more than 5 words to a week ("Hi, How are you?"). But we did in fact speak... we did share... and we exchanged numbers... sort of.

He called, we talked and I realized something that I'd completely forgotten. He's so cute, so sweet and so adorable and so, so young. I mean he's not jailbait but he's not too far from it. It's evident in his speech, in his dress, in his mannerisms. And I can't believe I completely forgot about the age factor. Now I can clearly recall what scared me off from him in the past. That damned youthful exuberance and persistance. The "I love you's" in the first week; the "when are we moving in together?" the second; on to the "let's do everything as a couple and be completely inseparable because I love, love LOVE you SO much I can't bear not to be apart from you one millisecond and I must hear your voice a bazillion times a day because if not I will simply DIE."

But. I think he may have realized that I wasn't as into him as he was into me. Because he's less enthusiastic this time around. Or it could've been the "I don't want any type of commitment" line from me that clued him in. He's such a complete love though. So wise in the ways of the street but ignorant in every other aspect. Typical of young black men, much as I hate to say it. It would be so easy and SO tempting to take on the role of teacher in this instance. To teach him to make a woman happy in and out of the bedroom (and if you're wondering, NO I have no clue what he's like behind closed doors. Bad enough he sneaks kisses to catch me off my guard.)(and if I have my way I'd prefer to teach him everything outside of the bedroom because really? The whole sex thing isn't working for me right now). That's a role I haven't had in about... nevermind. In a long time, okay?

But, getting back to his absolute cuteness and adorableness. Do you remember getting your first puppy as a child? The absolute joy and esctasy of having something so darned cute but then as it grew you gradually lost interest in it? Until the next cute pet came along? It's the Paris Hilton syndrome.

I could totally be this boy's (sorry, MAN) sugar mama. I could totally spoil him rotten and lavish everything on him. But would it be fair to him because I know damned well that my feelings for this one won't last? Safe to scratch the moniker Love #2 and quickly rename him Infactuation of the Moment. To my credit, I have told him already that I'm not looking for committment, that baby daddy is somewhat in the picture though as what I'm not sure, and that quite frankly I don't know what the hell I want but I do know I don't need a serious relationship right now. He says that's cool, he's kinda in the same boat and get this. His desire is to spoil me.

So, we'll see. I'm single mommy to two. Might be sugar mama to one.